She Saved Our Bacon...and Eggs
by Michael Scott
(St. Catharines, ON)
We like our neighbours to the south!
Jackie and I knew it was going to be the biggest two-wheeled adventure we’d ever taken on. Just her and me and the Yamaha. Heading for Lake Placid, New York, summer playground of the rich and famous; unforgettably beautiful, mountain venue for the 1980 Winter Olympics. We’re well travelled…, just not on a bike. We’ve only ever been out of town on the bike a couple of times when we didn’t make it home to sleep in our own bed, so for us, heading anywhere on the Venture that was even two days from St. Catharines, Ontario was going to be a “big trip”.
Especially interesting for me was observing the exact science my princess used to pack her “ultimate” purse, make-up bag, pyjamas, underwear, three changes of clothing, rain gear, iPod, extra shoes…….and assorted stuff. This volume usually represents a challenge for our 4-door Camry, never mind the restrictive saddle bags and “trunk” of our ’03 Venture two-wheeler. Not to mention, I wanted to take along a second shirt, too!
We were jammed to the gunwales. (I know, that’s sailor talk!) The gross vehicle weight was being stretched to the limit. Jackie was convinced that my Johnny Walker was the questionable inclusion. “You’re kidding me….right?” But somehow we managed to get up a head of steam on that breezy Wednesday evening, crossed the border and punctually motored our way to scenic Geneva, near the Finger Lakes, for our first night’s stop.
Who knew that after such an inauspicious start, that Jackie’s purse with her wallet, ID, passport, credit cards, cash, the whole nine yards
would go missing in the parking lot at McDonalds during breakfast the next morning? Damn, why did I park in the back of the lot? Was the cool vinyl seating assured by those oak trees out back really worth the loss of hundreds, if not thousands PLUS identity theft to boot?
After a disheartening chat with the state troopers we motored on and made it to Placid with, understandably, not much joy in our hearts, even though we’d just traversed a splendid hundred-mile run through Adirondack park with more twisties and uppy/downies than a stretched out mogul run. We met up with our buddies, but the damper was definitely down on what was to be a glorious weekend in the mountains.
At the dinner table, Jackie’s cell phone rang. (It was about the only thing of value that hadn’t been in her purse!) Oh…….my……..god!! It was our pharmacists calling from St. Catharines to let us know that they’d received a call from the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS).
Turns out someone found Jackie’s purse lying in the middle of the highway…gave it to her cousin who works for DHS…..who looked inside ….found Jackie’s prescription bottle……called the number on the label and told them they’d found her purse! They gave us the name and phone number of the little old lady looking after the purse (back on the other side of Adirondack Park. We phoned her, made arrangements to pick up the purse on our way “back out” two days later.
Do you think we could reward her? Couldn’t give her a dime.
God bless America.....and Americans!